By Anamati Inyang
December 13, 2025
Today, there is a growing narrative that seeks to justify men’s infidelity while excluding women from the same consideration.
This exclusion is often defended with the claim that women are naturally wired to remain faithful. Strangely, this is where African tradition is invoked and upheld, however, only when it works against women.
We tend to emphasize tradition whenever women try to step into spaces that allow them to express their needs or claim the same freedom men enjoy. In those moments, women are reminded that their role is one of patience, endurance, while men are conveniently excluded from such demands. In truth, this so-called class of patience and endurance is more like a class for maids. It suppresses self esteem, leaving many women feeling vulnerable and oppressed. Too often, they cannot even express themselves because society does not expect them to.
Here is something important to note. While society clings to this mindset as though it is natural, there are women whose bodies produce higher levels of testosterone, the hormone that drives male sexual urges. Such women may experience tendencies similar to men, including high libido and a natural struggle with fidelity.
If this is biological and natural, then what has Africa done to make these women feel accepted in the same way as men?
Some may strongly disagree with this argument, but if the world truly belongs to everyone, then everyone should have a place where they belong, treated equally, allowed the same freedom, and granted equal expression and societal acceptance.
While we consider certain behaviors normal for men, we should also be willing to acknowledge the realities of women.
Infidelity should not be justified, it is the root of cheating. At the same time, a high libido is a normal human condition, and for women it should not be treated as an abomination.
Sexually, it is not abnormal for a married woman to make the first move with her husband. Such women should not be branded as infidels, seen as less of a woman. It is not wrong for women to express their sexual fantasies and desires. Every human has the freedom of expression, and as such, women should not be excluded from that reality.
This unpopular truth in our society, when ignored, can easily lead to depression among women. It eats away at self esteem because not every woman can withstand the stigma, the pressure, and the attacks that come with being judged by double standards.
Sadly, there are still men who see women only as objects of self satisfaction, tools to control, maids to order around. Such men often view expressive women as possessed or negatively influenced by friends. There is no crime in self expression, it is in fact, an additional spark in any relationship or marriage.
If such attitudes persist, many women will continue to live in pretense and self denial, hiding their true selves because of society’s judgment about their desires, libido, and fantasies.
It is time we moved beyond excusing men while silencing women. Infidelity is wrong on both sides, however, human desires must be understood with fairness. Gender does not erase humanity, no woman should be condemned for being human.
After this quiet reflection, one still holds the same biased view, then it is safe to say that Africa is indeed biased against women, even when women are simply seeking to make life comfortable for themselves.
That said, this assertion does not rule out the importance of good morals and composure in the minds of women. While staying free to express their fantasies, they should do so with utmost grace and confidence, embodying the truth that they are the real builders of our future leaders and the nation.
